I've been doing some thinking lately about this whole love fiasco thing I've had going on for the past year and I've come up with a theory; Love Karma has come back around to bitch slap me, several times over.
I won't bore you (read- humiliate myself) with all my love sagas but I will sum it up for you. Most of you will disagree...I hope.
I was kind of a bitch. Well, not "kind of a bitch," I was a bitch. A love bitch to be exact.
See, I won't name names but I've had some REALLY great boyfriends in the past that for some reason or another I've discarded. One in particular was the perfect boyfriend and what did I do? Well, instead of ending our relationship (for no good reason) and giving it the respect that he and our relationship deserved I ignored him. Who does that? A love bitch, that's who.
Now, (sigh) that wasn't the first time I pulled a stunt like that, it may have been (if my count is correct) the third time.
Peter. Ahhh...Peter. Tall, handsome, super nice teeth, super nice guy, always good to me. One day, can't explain why but I stopped calling him. Stopped returning his phone calls, didn't respond to his emails, just fell off the face of the earth. Eventually, I ran into him again and we became friends. Why he would want to be my friend after such disgusting behaviour is beyond me but I'm happy he's forgiven me.
Before that was (gotta change his name) Mr. Darcy. Mr. Darcy and I were hot and heavy and having so much fun until one day I sent him an email...that's right, an email that pretty much read, "Thanks for the laughs! Seacrest out." Totally random, out of left field, I'm sure he wasn't expecting it because I didn't even know it until I sent the email. It took YEARS for Mr. Darcy to speak to me again, but he did and now he's one of my best friends.
I think what is most despicable is that the common thread through all three of these relationships was the exchange of "I love you."
Oddly, all three of these men still speak to me. One guy, who fell into the dangerous category of "dater person" told me that it was a gift I had, a sort of talent, I hurt mens feelings and they came back for more. Unfortunately, I was more than happy to oblige.
So, my theory is that all the bad love juju, karma, vibes and such that I had put out there into the world has come back to haunt me.
How do I fix this? Can I? If I don't fix this am I be destined to live a life of bad love juju?
1 comment:
Let me start by saying that I love your blog. I am also having bad "love juju". It seems that I have broken many hearts in my day and men who would have given their left arm to be with me, are now married and happy. Me, I"m out there still philandering around, sort of like a fish in the wrong ocean. It may be Karma but then again it may be a way of just being safe. People keep saying that it'll happen when you least expect it but I laugh and look and them and say "I least expect if every friggin day and I don 't see it happening". I guess for now I'll just enjoy being single and having one loser after another hit on me.... my entertainment has to come from somewhere...
Peace Out
K
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